Have you ever prayed at the feet of Jesus? imagine.
Broken to a point that only He would be capable of lifting you to your knees.
I was once asked this question. It touched my heart.

Are my prayers meaningful enough for the lover of my soul?
Is my pursuit focused on the unseen?

Integrity.

What does this word mean to me?

Integrity in a textbook is defined as "The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness. "
When Christ was accepted into my heart, integrity was given a meaningful definition. Having complete integrity outside of a relationship with Christ is impossible! With him at your side, all the sinful things that aren't seen by the world can be eliminated! Having integrity is such an awesome way to truly acknowledge our Lord and Savior, cuz he is omnipresent. --The dude knows everything. If he sees you in solitude saying man God I want to show you Love by straying from sin at all costs knowing that self-righteousness is unattainable. He's gunna get the warm fuzzy, and that is beautiful. I've been battling a verse this week, got a little assistance, but here it is:

1 Cor 5:11-13
11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.
12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."

It is tough man. It is extremely tough to determine who is truly wicked and who is a sinful man. It is tough to distinguish whether the sheep is lost, or whether the sheep is actually a wolf under sheep skin. I was and am still to a certain degree indecisive on how we are capable of "expelling" a fellow child created by Christ. If God's love and powers are so infinite, how can we be so quick to "excommunicate", in a since, a lost soul who claims to be a follower of Christ. How can we as humans judge his heart? How are we capable of establishing why he calls himself a brother. He very well could have felt Christ's knocking, or is just truly enthused about the entire aspect of being a Christian. bleh!! This is why the Word is so intriguing.

Yet I sit here and realize that no matter the situation, God will reveal to you the wolf. He will show you the righteous path to take. Our job is to keep up our end of the bargain and arm ourselves daily. Become fluent with the love letter left behind for us. Etch His face into your heart.

~Forever Forward~

Nothing is impossible, Nothing. God is great.

God has shown the script for my life this year, and so awesome that nothing I can say would be able to express the joy I feel in my heart, its indescribable. God has a script for everyone and it is awesome! Because by playing the role of servant, our jealous God is capable of being loved in the most proficient way.

He wants us, he wants you. Wake up and scream out how beautiful your nap was, and how beautiful your fuzzy skrewed up hair really is. Ask him to show you the plans he has laid out for you. Take advantage of a life encompassed with endless joy through the precious sacrifice of our magnate savior.

I've been lost this semester in contemplation. Where does God want to use me? Where should I serve? I've asked God all semester where he wants me and I got an awesome answer. I first went to After Dark, and I sat by myself. I had no clue what was going to happened except I was gunna rawk out with By the Tree cuz they are off tha chain fo sheezy. It was so tight to hear the white man flow-- that was cool. Anyhoo-- I felt a calling on my heart that night. It started my senior year in high school actually. I feel called to love Christ through mentorship while serving as a rolemodel/spiritual guider/whatever else he wants me to do. He intentionally started my leadership service in high school on purpose, and I believe that. I felt a calling at After ark to become a part of the Kanakuk experience. It wasn't one of those things.. "OO that would be really fun and it would be almost impossible to miss finding God there".. It was more like Man God is telling me to do this. It felt so right. I talked to a leader after After Dark that night and I felt the Holy Spirit stir like a rabid hippo.

God longs for our pursuing. This weekend emotionally opened my heart when I met Jonathan. He was a Coast Guardy from Galveston. We shared our faith all weekend and truly become close friends in Christ. Man God is beautiful. John has struggled all his life, I do mean absolutely struggled. I had nothing to compare to the pain and suffering that God has tested him with. The most beautiful thing was that this guy knew who God truly is in his life. John was able to share the deepest, darkest flaws of himself without hesitation. He truly showed me what it was like to have a Brother in Christ. Parting with John was a hard thing to do, it was as if I knew him for many years. He and I both felt a great connection through Christ. We exchanged phone numbers and are gunna plan a weekend visit to Galveston sometime, that would be truly amazing. Hes the prez-d at Galveston Wesley, and let me tell you, the devil's works in the Galveston area is beyond belief. That is a reach-out mission in itself, ministering to fokes down there.

God has reasons for everything. I recently signed a contract with Kanakuk Kamp this summer. Words cannot describe the joy in my heart. I know God wants me there, that's the beauty. I am certain I am answering the call for my life. Its kinda like coming to AtM-- I prayed about it-- and applied to ATM only-- I wasn't even in the top 10%! Ha! Another example of God's extraordinaries. He sent me here, not my application. I can look back and say wow God has my life planned. He has plans for me to walk through beautiful pastures filled with his extraordinary love and extravagance. He has given me great ambition to love Him in an utmost manner. This weekend was about loving others, and once again WOW. Bang, Pow, Pop! All at once. It totally strengthened my ability to interact with fellow Christians. I can see myself serving at Wesley for years to come, and it is a beautiful foresight. I feel called to be plugged into Wesley, especially after this weekend. Whether it was because I got nominated for just about everything-- not by my fellow AtM students-- but by relationships I had made that weekend. I feel as though I was able to connect, and reach out to other absolute Christians.

Word of God Speak,
Would You pour down like rain,
Washing my eyes to see,
your majesty,
to be still and know,
that you're in this place.
please let me stay and rest,
in your holiness.
-Mercy Me

Make me the Breath of God -Shane and Shane

~Forever Forward~

i've had a great day, yet it has been miserable.
i'm tired... yet i act totally rejuvenated.
i have a test tommorow, and i can't wait to start it.

worship was awesome tonight. God definatly led me to the Wesley foundation for obvious reasons. At the wesley I'm able to become integrated into an enviroment that is very laid back and has multitudes of good times all the time. I do mean ALL THE TIME.

Man date auction was INSANE tonight. Our date had the worst outcome, yet I think it had one of the best. 5 girls get to go rock climbing and eat out at amazon cafe for $10 and $20!! that is insane!! Chris really read the date description wrong, but we were all laughing way too hard and too embarrased to correct him. We had the like most mac-dad date there, yet our attempts to portray a lavish Walton lifestyle automatically stereotyped us as the typical poor, unambitious, half-baked college students we aren't. With this mental block in thier heads, and the fact that Chris mis-pronounced "Thousand foot Krutch" as "Thousand Foot Crotch" , the uneasy bidders were convinced that these guys were barely worth opening bid. Let me tell ya the girls had some very undiscerning looks commin out da cheeks. Oh well, it was Hella funny... i think i nearly died laughing, but hey! i believe this is more of a fellowship project as opposed to fund raiser... why would Max truely want to take the college student's money??? there is greater purpose than to just raise money for things.. cuz wesley has got money. I've been hangin out with wesley fokes more this week than i have this semester. Its really awesome how Wesley truely is a unique christian organization. I can hang out with christian friends and without second thought share whats on my heart. Wow am I blessed or what??? I need to strive to intiate these conversations more often. I believe these convos keep my spirit on fire and allow God to work and build character through each experience. Let me tell you, Zac is a very awesome person. I truely believe his fruit of the spirit is wisdom. If you don't know him, i urge you to reach out to him.

I'm totally excited cuz Kanakuk clicked my digits today! how awesome is that? (they called my house and noone was home-- then when i heard it was past office hours.. so.. yeah. lol) God's plans are His plans whatever the outcome maybe.

Prayer is powerful. Why you may ask? It can change the mind of the creator the universe if used with the right motives... that is amazing.

Stay strong in faith guys. Let his love that overflows within your own heart reach out to others this week.

this is gunna be about the ladies... how trivial is that?

its the infamous Valentines Day. i'm single, but i am no where near ill-spirited. God is molding a wife for me as we speak. She is being hand carved to fit directly beside me in this jigsaw world. Having to wait to meet her can only be a blessing. Instead of agony and lone sadness I can only wonder at how beautiful her soul will truely be. I believe its called patient endurance, 2Corinthians 1:6
If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

How awesome is that? God has everything ready for me, am i preparing? Taking another look at this proclamation makes me think wow, thats what life is all about, patient endurance. dude once we die its all goin down man, its the play you have been training for all your life, the triple threat screen pass with a little touch of salvation. living life on earth only creates great wonder of how beautiful it will be There. Its not like waiting in a dentist's office with the roaring screams and the sounds of a drill press coming from behind the door.

anyhoo awesome

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2corinthians 4:18

i just wanna start off saying wow, God is great.

proclaiming that statement with genuine words is the best medicine availible. I don't got alot to say for some reason, why? i can't say. my life has taken a 180 the past couple of weeks. I cleared distractions that sometimes purged time with the Lord, and I've taken great leaps of faith to define his beauty. He is so amazing. Where is God in my life? Hes right beside me. He walks with me to class, he sleeps with me in class, he studys with me in new and awesome ways each session. I've started meeting with an awesome influential brother of christ on mondays to study and totally expirence god in a private room at the annex. The way god has spoke to me through his abundant dicipline and faithfulness has inspired me to be a better person for christ, not a simplistic "good guy", that term means absolutly nothing. I hunger for rightousness. I hunger for the completion of my heart of God.

I'm so pumped about my life right now as well. School wise-- asi-asi-- its still iffy. I knew my stuff for the 208 test today. I was capable of reciting the chapters and its context to zac the night before. I pretty much gave him an A+ session. I hit the test and the concepts of the book, the homework problems, the EVERYTHING, was written in a foreign language. It didn't matchup with the test... i was like dang whats the dill pickle.

hmm it seems ironic how i didn't have anything to say. I suppose venting is a health issue, so why not keep going right?

Bonding--Friendships--

I've tryed opening up these past few weeks. I think the mexico expirence/crunch time really opened my heart to the unseen. I look back on the footsteps, which record my life with christ, and am totally blown away at what i find. Hes driven my life on nitrous. Just a year after truely excepting big J, his will for me totally quadrupled and it was still H.S.! I was like dang man I'm on this crizzazy jesus high. He was like Ryan I want you to be the guy that fokes can lean on, through scouting, band, generation J, life in general. I made some awesome connections in such a materialistic age of life that will last for eternity. I'm totally thankful for whats been going on to this day. I know God is going to do and has done amazing things through me. I only wish i could serve as his tool with no other desires. I actually like reading diaries of earlier christians, its amazing to expirence thier great spiritual battles and relate with them totally, cuz its the same battle, no matter if they are john wesley or Grace's former preacher Dwight. I look up to Dwight to this day. His great faith of God relieved himself from ministry, not what the world thought. Its amazing to realize that there is no escaping temptation. I could grow up and head to semenary for 10 years... and still be in constant combat with the many temptation of lust, selfishness, and other indulging festivities.

Everything he has done in the past has shaped my heart of the present.

God has been amazing to such an unworthy donee.

Thomas if you read this, we do need that man time, big guy.

I want to know where God is in your life. It may not seem like it sometimes, I am very well defined as an intravert, but that is just a cop-out to avoid boldness. God has his reasons for everything. He didn't think it was my place to be an Impact councilor next year. I, for one, was kinda confused as to why, it seemed like it kinda fit in his pattern of my life, but man it only released relization that there is no pattern, God is an unexplainable, indescribable, omnipotent, unique presence of outlasting love.



"Though we do not lose heart...our light momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" 2corinthians 4:16-17

Though we do not lose heart. Though we do not lose heart, submission, humility, dicipline, anything that describes what brings you closer to God, since these things define what it is to live and learn to know God in a more intimate way, and since

His love is what defines each and everyone's heart. without it you are a "waif, a no man, a ship without a rudder." -forgotten author (lol)

i honestly don't feel like speel checking/grammer/puncuation checking im too durn tired :p

ok so i slide my card to open my Walton dorm door only to find the entire first floor flooded. Three guys were standing there while I was "soaking" in the situation. I decided to ask what happend, and one of the three pointed at the water fountain that was stuck on "high" mode. Then i thought back to the previous events of the day... and was like... whoops i remember hitting the fountain earlier that day cuz it was stuck and made it worse... lol. He told me not to worry blah blah.. and so i asked uhhh who are you? ahh my RA's, thats pleasant to know. So we continued to stand in an inch of water on carpet and another was like.. hmmm "whoa dude its going to be funny when the power goes out, because all the hall's power wiring is right there in water". I was like "uhh well maybe we shouldn't be standing in the water." ( mmm the weed is good isn't it? )...

anyways that is my first Walton hall catastrophe.

I think I had an encouter with food gone bad yesterday cuz i'm pretty durn sick. We bar-B-Q's at bobby "swole" 's house yesterday, I dunno something wasn't right :x, so I've felt horrible all super sunday.

anyhoo

i got up way early and felt really horrible. but i still went to sunday worship at wesley :), it was definatly worth it cuz it hit directly home with me. I am for sure going to find time to open up to max this week, hes very inspiring. Then, since i lasted through wesley service i headed to Living Hope with Nathan, oh boy what a mess-- I ended up mudding to a parkin spot, it was jam packed. As the service progressed i started feeling really crappy again, i couldn't stand without getting dizzy. At one point i thought i was ok and stood up and felt the most lightheaded i have ever felt, like when u vision goes black and ur like crrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap my head. oh well. i survived and thought living hope was very exciting. I still am in pursuit of the fitting church home.

anyhoo its time for me to bask in sleep. I slept from 1pm to 4pm this evening..

Wow school has started! I am back into circulation with a different agenda every single day!!

A tough issue I have encoutered is who i should share my time with. Where should I serve?
Who do I spend time with the most? It is very possible that I've over dedicated my time. Last semester I was all about being "on fire" for God. Each opportunity that I was given to praise and serve him through an organization was pounced on. Now this semester, school has started, WORK will start next week, all of my organizations are having reunion meetings, i joined Men's choir! (for the three weeks that it is going to exist), and I've added to my course load!!!!!!

something has gotta give to allow all of this to fit into my life. God's plan for my life is one of comfort and untouchable by stress. His works within my life will fit exactly into the continuum of my life. There will be no empty spaces, hes planned it all.

"Its not what you know, its who you know", this statement is spread across college campuses world wide.
Who do I Know? Who do I share my God given time with?

1. transparency: So fine in texture that it can be seen through

The best friends in my life are those who keep me informed of thier walk with Christ. I don't have to put on a face and worry about how they analyze the intent of my words. Our hearts are forever bonded by the love of christ, and inturn gives us a very deep understanding of one another. The capacity of the love we share is beyond all bounds. The bonds we share in Christ create the deepest friendship known to God aside to the relationship we have with him. I've created a few of those relationship this semester, and I have found that they are the people who truely are capable of delivering comfort and support when I slip or take a wrong turn on my great expedition.

So i've totally met alot of new cool people this semester and am arranging to meet many more and totally share the love thats overflow'in in my heart, and once more! I will put a special focus on outreach this semester as I meet new faces around me. I met someone in history class today and I knew that Yes there is a reason I am sitting here. I need to share christ, its what I'm called to do so i make convo and take names, preparing to go in for the kill..., then class starts, doh! I failed earlier that morning in the coffee shop. I had the chance to spark conversation but i totally decided not to.. I didn't want to I dont know why! oh well maybe it was God saying YOU IDIOT SAY SOMETHING!! I sat at the table for like 15 minutes without talking at all! I got my coffee and started reading... I was like.. hmm maybe i should say something... but then i was like hmm... i don't wanna bother anyone let me mosey on down to class in 45 minutes... it does take awhile to get from the library to heldenfelds... blah!! A great contingency to fulfill my purpose was once more blown by the intraverted moron!
anyhoo
life is nuts!

so the online journal hasn't been gettin much attention.

My life has taken a few different turns the past few weeks. Priorities changing constantly, infact they are still mostly undefined.

On the way to my Mexico mission trip I bogged myself into Eldredge's Wild at Heart, a very amazing revelation of a man's heart.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" Pslam 37:4

What does my beating heart desire? What exactly does God promise to deliver in return for my humility?

Eldredge states a very amazing reality:

" The problem with men, we are told, is that they don't know how to keep thier promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise their children. But if they will try real hard they can reach the lofty summit of becoming. . . a nice guy. That's what we hold up as models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys... Now let me as my male readers: In all your boyhood dreams growing up, did you ever dream of becoming a Nice Guy? (Ladies, was the Price of your dreams dashing . . . or merely nice?) "

What I desire is something beyond a beautiful christian wife with a beautiful christian home. I desire a life walking on a tight rope every second of the day. Eldredge reveal's his idea of a man's heart's desires as an adventure to live, a battle to fight, and a beauty to rescue. I truely agree that God wants us to live on fire and in danger. His passion for us is overflowing cuz its his love that created us, hes madly in love with us. I can imagine that if I was madly in love with some chick, I would not remain within the "safe" boundaries. I would put my heart on the line, take down it's barriers of defense, and reveal its vulnerabilities. God does that constantly, and believe me, he has had enough heart rippage from me alone. Thats insane.

I was having a "transparency" chat the other night and totally dug an analogy of God's love for us, i swear it made me tear up. The love between the trinity was so great that it overflowed and God created earth in order for us to share his love. The comfort and extense of his love is unexplainable cuz its greater than any measurements availible to the human mind as well as heart.

anyhooo tommorow is my first day of a new semester, a new begining.

ahhhhh my last night at home for the break....... time passes so fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to be saying ahhhhhhhhh my last day of work before i retire in like a week, I can already tell. Then when i'm subject to review before our eternal Father i'm gunna be like AHHHHHHHH my last review for the Kingdom of Eternity.

the world in which we are temporarily inhabiting calls us to "live for the moment", cuz life passes us by REEEEEal quick.

It also can portray christianity as a religious group whose morals and values supress any opportunity to do so. Let me tell ya, it ain't so. Putting God first in your life creates an overflowing abundnace of joy deep within your soul. With Him present within your heart, all worries are obliterated.

Our friends, our relatives, people we have never known before should be able to say, "dang d'er is sumthin different about that dude" because there is something different about christians! The universal creator has saved our lives for eternity. We travel the path less trodded on and by no means is it simplistic. Our life reflects his Love.

" And a main road will go through that once deserted land. It will be named the Highway of Holiness. Evil-hearted people will never travel on it. It will be only for those who walk in God's ways; fools will never walk there. "
Isaiah 35:8

"A man without a purpose is a ship without a rudder - a waif, a no man, a nothing"
- Thomas Carlyle

Just like the ship, I need something to steer my life. I need a light to save the very foundations of my soul when rocky shores emerge. I need an understanding of the great undertaking that grants my forgiveness. I need sacrafice.

But sadly, I remain in paradox. I proclaim what I need and act on the opposite. I stumble and face plant, breaking my glasses (which have been broken on numerous occasions) and just totaly eat the dirt with sorrows beyond belief.

BUT, i must say THERE IS HOPE. THERE is a solution. It tends to be the same one each and every "trip" you could say. (whether u treat that as narcotics or a root it don't matta)

Give him the reigns. Show him your passion. Proclaim his name at the top of your lungs.
James 4:10 " Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. "

God doesn't play dice - Albert Einstein

BE PREPARED! (a little boy scout action going on)

Things do and don't happen for reasons that none of us can phathom.

He calls us to be dressed for action with our lamps lit every day and night of the week. He is going to knock at a time unknown by any one except by the omnipotent universal creator. Knowing this allows time to control our lives.
How so?
Time is the interval seperating a continuum.
As christians we are awaiting our Saviour's arrival. This could be in the next 30 seconds!!! Are you prepared?
We cannot tame time. Preparation must be continuous! not sporadic!

Live each day as a joyous homecoming celebration for baby jesus, wildly on fire! A blaze that no man can control! Wake up to your first glimps of light hoping and praying that it is He who is at the source awaiting with a one-way chariot heading to our eternal resting place.

I can only imagine.

Live life as though He were holding your hand the entire time :)

peace out fokes.

well my reflections on the past few days are kinda weary, definatly a slump due to the fact he keeps getting pushed to the side.

God is Great.
I am not.
I have passion for Him, and yet, I still deceive Him.
Life is depressing without God. Taking the reigns only makes things worse :/
I need him. I thrive on his blessings. I exist on his blessings. Noone said it would be easy leading a life through Christ and its not. Infact, i would say it is much more challenging.

On a brighter note, i am gunna start Wild at Heart tommorow after i open more presents :)

Praise da Lord for Baby Jesus' Birthday!

there is definatly no word to describe humans better than "unique" or maybe a more flavorous "eccentric"

Without taking this into perspective, while meeting the multitudes in a new enviroment, deep feelings are accessible to the least of events! Making new friends, whether it be guy or girl, requires a patience that can sometimes only be found through ordinances of faith. There is always the "annoying" one who is placed in your life for this very reason; a test. Its part of a series of endless tests that build to the great exam at the end of our worldly time, and, my friends, it is cumulative based. Testing is how God gets his kicks out of us. He is a God of greed believe it or not! He wants everyone to love him beyond all bounds. A walk without jumps is boring! He wants us to be capable of fully trusting on him through think and thin. That's faith! Its durn hard to respond to a cripling tradgedy with "Oh God, how great thou Art!". That is an awesome understanding that I am being nudged to grasp as of late.

The unique natures of each and every person serve as a new adventure! sometimes this adventure is fun, othertimes it has short endings, but either way God is still the puppet master with purpose beyond understanding, great ehhh? I "tink soe"

God's Purpose in Your life: to please Him.
God's Greatest Pleasure: being known and loved.

~ Forever Forward ~

So i was drivin around today doing some errands and listening to a burned cd i made this week of a few bands im being introduced to, and this song really stood out.



Hey Wait - Sanctus Real

So confined to the fear that you hold on to
Time unwinds and nothing seems
Promised you

Hey wait, i want to take you for a ride
Hey wait, i want to catch you
While there's time

Who'll pick you up when there's no one
around?
Who'll hold you up when your heart
Hits the ground?

So defined by a love that has fallen through
But hope is kind
When you hope in something
You know is true

Hey wait, i want to take you for a ride
Hey wait, i want to catch you
While there's time

I'll pick you up when there's no one
Around
I'll hold you up when your heart
Hits the ground

You're tired and you can't take
Another time around
You know it's hope i'm holding
So i hope i've found you in this
(i've found you in this)

I'll pick you up when there's no one
Around
I'll hold you up when you heart
Hits the ground

This is why christianity is so awesome. We got DC++++ (direct connection) with our best friend, the lover of our soul. This crazy dude wants us before its too late! Man its so sweet to know that no matter how crappy i am feeling, how torn i am inside, i can spend a little time in contemplation and get picked up to an elevation unreachable to pain and suffering. its sweet surrender. instead of raising the white flag to signal your enemies of thier victory, grab onto the white sheets and get pulled up

"Turn it up and let the people know, I'll never let it go, I'll never let it go!" -TFK
I would also like to thank everyone i know for helping shape the person I am today. I love you guys and pray that my actions may always serve as boosts for your own walk.

~Forever Forward~

-
Life begins. How beautiful it is.

Beautiful. Splendorous. Magnificant.

As a toddler, we were totally oblivious to our own beauty, our miraculous conception. It takes a few years to define the purpose of exisitance before one can truely grasp why life is beautiful.

Why is life beautiful?

The gift of life was given through one sole undertaking, that is awesome. Life is beautiful because no matter how much we fall, slip, or dive into things so complexly undefined, we can use a simplistic way to rediscover and reinvent who we are. We are loved to such an extent, that there is no other love comparable. Its a love that is unbounded to anything earthly treasures can hold, a love that cannot be truely concieved bya mere human. It's expanses are beyond our grasp man! We are loved constantly and its omnipresent state will never leave our side. So when you are down, when life hits you with alot of crap man, its alright. Its alright.


Why does life seem to be brutal at times of despair?

Ha, i know none of us will ever truely experience being forsaken, cuz it says he won't hehe.

His intricate plan is omnipresent along with his love guys. When an eleven year old kid is nearly drowns and goes into a coma, His will is in its most unconcievable state. But dudes, hes got it all mapped out. Collin is an innocent eleven year old who loved playing baseball and going hunting. But, instead of doing either of these, he is now staring in the biggest game of all. His life has fallen into the mercies of the Lord's intricate plan. God has taken him under his wing.

That is beautiful my friend.

Alrighty here I am.

Spent the entire day not studying four days before two final examinations.
Why don't i care? Because I had a great day.
I was able to experience His beautifully created day. The afternoon was so extravagently carved that i was able to find a grassy knoll, whip out some Mr. Warren and totally engulf in his glory. It was overwhelming paradise. So that lasted... about 4 hours.. lol. I fell asleep in the middle somewhere, it was so exhilarating!!

I do have work ahead of me, but i know that no madder what, i will perservere to the end because of Him. Its inevitable.

Trials and tribulations attempt to run our lives, such as the attempting to keep that 4.0. If we let ourselves remain on the freeway of stress and worry, there will exist only honking horns, graphic sign language, and choice words. Guys we need the scenic route alot of the time. We need our quiet time to recognize what he has given us.

Road rage can closely parallel with the fallibilities of man. You must confess that at one point and time within your life, you have been very angry with the ignorance of another driver. Your love towards this person quickly diminishes the moment they pull out infront of you. My cousin was murdered in houston on a freeway last year. A group of teenagers through a brick from the back of thier truck onto his windshield going 60mph. Why? Why would God let such an event happen. The brick itself did not kill him, his anger did. He chased this truck and forced it to stop. For some ungodly reason my cousin got out expecting to kick some butt and was struck in the head repeatedly with a board of nails. Grotesque? I think so.

Where is God's reasoning?

Well lets go back to the begining describing my awesome day. What defined my day as awesome? How was i able to distinguish this day from the rest? Without a bad day, how can i have a good one. How would I ever be able to explicitly give glory to God without events such as my cousin's murder? I pray for blessings and understanding upon his family, but I praise and exalt God. He has allowed myself to perservere from this tragedy by furthering my glorification of his awesome omnipotent presence.

I tend to miss the exit ramps.
" The path of life leads upward for the wise to keep him from going down to the grave." Proverb 15:24
Today's scenic route once more steered me towards Him.

wow, so i've got alot of information to memorize these next two weeks...
so... i need to ask the 8-ball some questions... it is definatly my source of wisdom..

will i remember the information after christmas? Ha no way.
will have have the GPR required to stay in my major? Ha no idea.
do i have any clue what classes im going to sign up for in 3 days? Ha no clue.
does my name alone define procrastination? maybe.
will i survive? Lets hope so.

wow dudes God is great.

the Ancient of Days, hes called
wonderfully magnificant in extravagance
clothing whiter than snow
at his feet, rivers of fire aflow
his will, wants, needs take all-
all of life's attention, not part
for part leaves whole behind
and behind is not a place to be left.

Twilight - The time of the day when the sun is just below the horizon.

A midway point of time, an area of true gray. Twilight is what sinners live in, a life of both worlds. The only difference in Christian sinners is that they are mere sinners saved by Grace even though night is still trying to hold on. Two worlds, one body. Two wills, one decision. Two desires, one heart. Two choices, one action. You have self rightousness in one hand, and holy rightousness in the other "The dawning day, the dying night". Twilight is where we bog down into sin, where the light turns gray, where our love's intent is shattered by evil, where it is good to be a Christian. His unparalelled love, the definition of true love, His sacrafice ends our twilight.

Praise Jesus. Man we are only pawns placed strategically in order to honor and glorify you and you alone.

Lord's will for Jeff has been found. He truely made it. His aspirations and hard work found His will and now look, the boy's gift is reaching thousands of people. I can only envy the focus Jeff has found. His story is a prime example of what i fear the most: submitting to God's will when it might not be part of my "Masterplan" so to speak. Man, Jeff is(was) a senior in college this semester and has worked with me at the station for two years, and he was about to get his degree in machinery mechanics when the offer of his dreams was placed into his life: to share God's word in Knoxville, Tennessee 6 nights a week professionally. The boy has got a voice. He dropped everything. When the Blackwood Brothers quartet called his house offering a position in the quartet due to the tenor having to quit, he left the next day to live up to his life's potential. He won't be able to come back and visit untill next year, and he left November 1st. Man that is powerful testamony.

My trip home also raised the issue of thankfulness, and i do think that i would never be able to thank my parents enough for what they have given me, everything. God, our father, gave his son, and my parents have devoted thier lifetimes for such an unthankful product of thier love. Man how can i ever repay any of them??? its going to be close to impossible to repay my parents, but God gave a priceless jewel, his own son, for my life. Man how can i thank him enough!!!!! good grief how pitiful and unconsiderate i am. It breaks my heart to know that inevitably i will cause God pain within the next 24 hours. Oh how i long for true rightousness man... that will be the ultimate high.