Friday, April 09, 2004

wow I love my Upstream group.. its just really awesome. Its really encouraging to see Michael engaged and loving the Lord the way he does. He has such an awesome relationship with his fiance and God! They have been the first excellent example of how a couple who love the Lord can truly glorify Him through marriage in my personal life. It was so rejuvenating to hang out with them tonight!

I don't want to seem selfish, but I as so spent! My body is physically aching from fatigue. It was hard work demolishing our amazing shack today.. then i smashed my hand :( (its my right hand rule physics hand too!!!). I'm tired of school. I just want to let summer start!! I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way.. but ya.. i do too.

I've been kinda laid back spiritually. Not in a mediocre of intensity fashion, but more or less in a listening fashion. I feel like I'm falling in line under His sovereignty and recognizing the fact that in order for Him to respond... I gotta listen.. and sometimes the response will take time. God is definatly preparing my heart for this summer, and its so exciting! I'm gunna have to share my life with my kids and get to know each and everyone of them in the time span of one week!! that sounds scary! He has been allowing me to share myself with brothers and sisters alot more freely and openly.. kinda like I've been coming out of my shyness shell. In the past, the only way to get me to share my testamony or to just get to know me really well was for that person to really have to "break my shell". I've seen that as a real weakness, the inablity to just share my heart with no second thought. But as of late, I've met awesome people who have truly help work on my heart and just had amazing revelations that have steered my away of this. It is so selfish of me not to want to share my life with a fellow brother or sister. I wish i had a little selfish switch that i could keep turned off. Alot of the times i have to review the situation and realize how selfish i really act... We are here to help each other out, not impede or hide our spiritual lives. I can so look at my past.. heck just last semester.. and see how blinded I was to His Will for my life. He changes everyone so dramtically!! I can't imagine being a Christian for 5 years... much less 20!! its so exciting to imagine how many awesome ways He will have the opportunity to shape and mold us into His image.

anyways... i just got a message that i agree with.. "TraciAnn423 (2:19:47 AM): you need sleep kid"
good night fokes!
~Forever Forward~

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