Thursday, October 16, 2003

Great things come, leave, wither into the past. But the greatest thing of all contains none of these attributes. The greatest thing one might possess is forever and omnipresent. So many things in this life gain priority over the greatest thing whether we strive for perfection or not, its human nature. We are not perfect. Its the understanding that we have these self-satisfying priorities existing within our heart that makes us Christian. We see our flaws.. our incompatablities with God's will.. our actions that result in severing God's heart. His love for us is abundant through thick and through thin. And as christians we believe Jesus was crucified in order to grant our forgiveness, no matter the degree.

One of the hardest things to overcome is to gather the courage to ask for this forgiveness. We must cry out out for our father to rip our pains, ales, worries, sins, constraints, Burdens out of our mind, our heart, our life. He can carry and does carry the weight of the world daily for all eternity. I can only hope that i will continue to be able to cry out daily, be able take the yoke off of my shoulder and instead take God's... cuz his yoke is easy, its virtually burdenless...

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

My most looked forward to worship service once more takes my knees out! its the service which i can physically feel the holy spirit flow through my body and make my shiver all over... the presence of god is omnipresent.. i can't see it possible for a non-christian to attend BreakAway and not be converted then and there. There is so many signs of god there that i cannot possibly express them. They are undescribable. As I worship I'm able to see, feel, understand why I follow God's word and lead my life in search of his rightousness, not my own. There was a part of the service in which we recognized the things that place constaints on our walk with god, things that hold us back from proclaiming at the top of our lungs God's word, things that attempt to fill the void in our lives, a void that cannot be filled without God himself... well the speaker was praying that we would be able to , at that very moment, remove those constraints.. put them into the past.. and relieve ourselves of our past with Jesus' sacrafice.. he asked the lord to lift the constraints.. and at that very moment it felt as if something, someone was rushing through my body, removing weight, removing pain, removing my past.. removing my self-rightousness, removing my guilt of submitting myself to temptation.. i felt the spirit flow through my body and i knew what it was.. as soon as the word "lift" processed into my brain i felt this awesome feeling and that is the feeling i live for, let me tell ya. That feeling is the Cornerstone of my life. So the series was about Jesus' presence in the past, present, future.......

My future is in his hands.. I have NO CLUE as to what i want to do.. what i want to be.. I want to be an Aerospace engineer.. but that possiblity might not play out.. i might not make the 2.85 GPR required to retain this major... if not then God obviously doesn't want me to do this! i feel the want to lead, nothing big, but i just need to explore this feeling, and see if its something that I need to focus more on.. i don't konw for sure it is or not, and as i said earlier i am reluctant to think so... its all in his hands! For realio!

I got some Kizzoool jesus friends, and i thrive upon them!!! i may scare them away at times.. but its all good!

anyways adios diary

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Sunday night, just finished my weekend long lab adequetly... its definatly B material so I am satisfied. Work was very long today... it went by so slow cuz it was so busy.. i hate working on sundays :( I feel the promotion coming very soon now, they are making me work more and more and the store manager talks to me alot... i will keep praying! The message tonight at the wesley really touched me. Erin talked about our "comfort zones" and how God wants us to live On fire for him, not luke warm.. He doesn't want us to reach a point with our walk with christ that is comfortable.. and never push ourselves to a faster pace.. he wants us to sprint 24/7!!!!!! i haven't been!! i feel that i've reached a point to where i need to do more!! I feel the want to lead very powerfully... but as I feel this desire, I know that it would be crazy cuz i have so little time and need more foundation with the Word. I can't wait till next year when i get the chance to lead the freshmen!! hehe.
I've been teaching myself the trombone the past week.. haven't gotten into anything hard yet, just learning the scales.. if i make good grades this semester im going to try out for concert band... i play the tuba but i can't practice it cuz there isn't one at the wesley.... so im just keeping my lips in shape! it doesn't sound that great cuz i don't know the slide positions!

Well tommorow i'm gunna go to rec at 8 to work out, time for bed