Monday, January 19, 2004

so the online journal hasn't been gettin much attention.

My life has taken a few different turns the past few weeks. Priorities changing constantly, infact they are still mostly undefined.

On the way to my Mexico mission trip I bogged myself into Eldredge's Wild at Heart, a very amazing revelation of a man's heart.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" Pslam 37:4

What does my beating heart desire? What exactly does God promise to deliver in return for my humility?

Eldredge states a very amazing reality:

" The problem with men, we are told, is that they don't know how to keep thier promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise their children. But if they will try real hard they can reach the lofty summit of becoming. . . a nice guy. That's what we hold up as models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys... Now let me as my male readers: In all your boyhood dreams growing up, did you ever dream of becoming a Nice Guy? (Ladies, was the Price of your dreams dashing . . . or merely nice?) "

What I desire is something beyond a beautiful christian wife with a beautiful christian home. I desire a life walking on a tight rope every second of the day. Eldredge reveal's his idea of a man's heart's desires as an adventure to live, a battle to fight, and a beauty to rescue. I truely agree that God wants us to live on fire and in danger. His passion for us is overflowing cuz its his love that created us, hes madly in love with us. I can imagine that if I was madly in love with some chick, I would not remain within the "safe" boundaries. I would put my heart on the line, take down it's barriers of defense, and reveal its vulnerabilities. God does that constantly, and believe me, he has had enough heart rippage from me alone. Thats insane.

I was having a "transparency" chat the other night and totally dug an analogy of God's love for us, i swear it made me tear up. The love between the trinity was so great that it overflowed and God created earth in order for us to share his love. The comfort and extense of his love is unexplainable cuz its greater than any measurements availible to the human mind as well as heart.

anyhooo tommorow is my first day of a new semester, a new begining.

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