Friday, February 13, 2004

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2corinthians 4:18

i just wanna start off saying wow, God is great.

proclaiming that statement with genuine words is the best medicine availible. I don't got alot to say for some reason, why? i can't say. my life has taken a 180 the past couple of weeks. I cleared distractions that sometimes purged time with the Lord, and I've taken great leaps of faith to define his beauty. He is so amazing. Where is God in my life? Hes right beside me. He walks with me to class, he sleeps with me in class, he studys with me in new and awesome ways each session. I've started meeting with an awesome influential brother of christ on mondays to study and totally expirence god in a private room at the annex. The way god has spoke to me through his abundant dicipline and faithfulness has inspired me to be a better person for christ, not a simplistic "good guy", that term means absolutly nothing. I hunger for rightousness. I hunger for the completion of my heart of God.

I'm so pumped about my life right now as well. School wise-- asi-asi-- its still iffy. I knew my stuff for the 208 test today. I was capable of reciting the chapters and its context to zac the night before. I pretty much gave him an A+ session. I hit the test and the concepts of the book, the homework problems, the EVERYTHING, was written in a foreign language. It didn't matchup with the test... i was like dang whats the dill pickle.

hmm it seems ironic how i didn't have anything to say. I suppose venting is a health issue, so why not keep going right?


I've tryed opening up these past few weeks. I think the mexico expirence/crunch time really opened my heart to the unseen. I look back on the footsteps, which record my life with christ, and am totally blown away at what i find. Hes driven my life on nitrous. Just a year after truely excepting big J, his will for me totally quadrupled and it was still H.S.! I was like dang man I'm on this crizzazy jesus high. He was like Ryan I want you to be the guy that fokes can lean on, through scouting, band, generation J, life in general. I made some awesome connections in such a materialistic age of life that will last for eternity. I'm totally thankful for whats been going on to this day. I know God is going to do and has done amazing things through me. I only wish i could serve as his tool with no other desires. I actually like reading diaries of earlier christians, its amazing to expirence thier great spiritual battles and relate with them totally, cuz its the same battle, no matter if they are john wesley or Grace's former preacher Dwight. I look up to Dwight to this day. His great faith of God relieved himself from ministry, not what the world thought. Its amazing to realize that there is no escaping temptation. I could grow up and head to semenary for 10 years... and still be in constant combat with the many temptation of lust, selfishness, and other indulging festivities.

Everything he has done in the past has shaped my heart of the present.

God has been amazing to such an unworthy donee.

Thomas if you read this, we do need that man time, big guy.

I want to know where God is in your life. It may not seem like it sometimes, I am very well defined as an intravert, but that is just a cop-out to avoid boldness. God has his reasons for everything. He didn't think it was my place to be an Impact councilor next year. I, for one, was kinda confused as to why, it seemed like it kinda fit in his pattern of my life, but man it only released relization that there is no pattern, God is an unexplainable, indescribable, omnipotent, unique presence of outlasting love.

"Though we do not lose heart...our light momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" 2corinthians 4:16-17

Though we do not lose heart. Though we do not lose heart, submission, humility, dicipline, anything that describes what brings you closer to God, since these things define what it is to live and learn to know God in a more intimate way, and since

His love is what defines each and everyone's heart. without it you are a "waif, a no man, a ship without a rudder." -forgotten author (lol)

i honestly don't feel like speel checking/grammer/puncuation checking im too durn tired :p

No comments: