Thursday, October 28, 2004

:burn:
"But if I say, 'I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name ',
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot."
Jeremiah 20:9
so yeah this week wasn't all that fun, extremely stetching, but not all that fun. Knowing that I have once more grown in my dependence of God is awesome, but getting that dependence relies directly on tests and trials. How else would I recognize the need for a gracious God? 2Corinthians 13:5 tells us to literally initiate tests ourselves, so we are "without excuse" if tests are not being given to us frequently.
I was blessed with the opportunity to share my faith as well as the Gospel with my father this week. That is by far the most challenging thing I've done in my entire life. My dad is awesome though, he carries a "big stick" so to speak. Hes very opinionated and very.... "always right", lol. Its hard to talk to him is what I'm sayin. Getting into a psychological perspective is pointless so im just gunna say talkin to him about Jesus is the biggest fear I've had this entire year (well its been most evident this particular year). This is mainly because i absolutely knew it was going to happen. I knew that there was a "next step" conversation waiting to happen whenever I went home. The world is deathly hungry for truth. It is hurting out there for someone who really cares.
"If you set yourself on fire people will come from miles to see you burn"
John Wesley
John is speaking God's truth. The world is aching for Christians who live for Jesus and live by what their Manual of Abundant Life tells them. It is absolutely impossible for a Christian to live abundantly and not read God's Word. Why? because you are human. You can read Huckleberry Finn in eighth grade and recall ... well.. actually i can't even remember the main plot.. wasn't he on a raft or something? Do you see my point?
God's word must be burned into your heart.
It is your wellspring of life.
Jesus came to bring us life and bring it to the full.
That is the only way anyone can be effective. What determines whether your are a Christian is the intentions of your heart towards God.
"For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the Kingdom of heaven" Matthew 5:20 --
Jesus was speaking to the Law abiding Jews (Matthew 4:25), those who knew how to obey God in the eyes of other men-- those whose moral codes idealy lined with the Moral Law instituted into man by God. Luke 18:11-12 illustrates the righteoousness that the pharisees. It illustrates thier lack of intention to be real and of full intention before our God who reads the heart.
If you never meditate and become engulfed in God's word you fill the role of a modern day pharisee, a fake, a nobody. If you have never intended on pleasing God with your entire heart, soul, mind, spirit then I don't know what to say, you need to seriously have a talk with someone Godly. lol
The biggest thing that turns people off from Christianity is Christians themselves. Christians who don't walk by the spirit and humble themselves before the Lord on a daily basis.
A guy told my friend "Kubi, I would go to the ends of the earth and even die for Christians who live like you, Christians who live the I'm third life, (God first, others second, yourself third). But man, I am not seeing it. I can't call myself a Christian when there are so many who do don't live it. There is one thing i want to ask you to do though, I want you to go back to Honduras this winter break with me and tell my family what you told me."
Kubi goes to TCU.
But back to my story this week... Its been my prayer for a very long time before I go to bed that God would hound my father's soul. That God would break him into nothingness so that he would realize his sinful ways past his many dead, stone hard layers of pride.
My prayer has been answered.
The Gospel is being preached in my house.
My father is listening and aching for understanding
"Ryan I just don't understand how I could have lived this long and not understood the bible thing"
Hes ready to be Taken.
~Forever Forward~

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