Saturday, October 23, 2004

.:intentional disciple:.
The battle has been painful this week, just as it should be(2Cor12). Why? well the details are frivolous, but in a nutshell, I prepared very quickly for 3 midterms and a paper causing myself to squeeze every second of my week for all that it was worth. It was amazing.
So i ask myself this question, was i truly malleable?
Can i honestly look back on this week and see how God changed my life? How have I been conformed to the ways not of this world?
to kinda answer this question, Thursday of this very long week, i was definitely feelin stinkin weak. After hardcore studying/trying not to worry about my tests, I let a few mindless comments take my knees out.
but the most amazing thing happens while on my knees.
Jesus Christ whispered into my ear..
Hey bud.. guess what? my grace is sufficient for your weakness. Guess what else? I want you to delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties because that is when i really get to see what you really got goin on for Me(2Cor12). I get to see who you are under your many masks of the world. I get to dig into what you are hiding behind, what false securities you go to bed at night trusting in. I get to test your faith.
Get excited Ryan, the battle is won bud. Set your hope on the Grace to be given when Christ Jesus is to be revealed(1Peter1:13). Guess what else son?
I've planted you as a tree by the stream. You do not fear when heat comes, your leaves will stay green regardless. You have no worries in a year of drought and you will never fail to bear fruit, for blessed is the man who trusts in Me, whose confidence is in Me. (Jeremiah17:7)
He tested my heart, my mind, my intentions as he says he does. My realization was the fact that I was and still am to a lesser extent focused on what the silly temporary world has to offer. I focus on rotten trash. I focus on spiritual poison, as opposed to the pure spiritual milk Christ has to offer (1Peter2:2). Day after day God shapes the heart..he shapes our entire life--
" Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand.."Jeremiah 18:6
~forever forward~

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