ahh man you guys should check this song out when sung by Shane and Shane - When I Think About the Lord.. its my favorite worship song..

when i think about the Lord
how He saved, how He raised me
how He filled me with the Holy Ghost
how He healed me to the uttermost
when i think about the Lord
how he picked me up
turned me around
how He set my feet
on solid ground

it makes me want to shout
hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you're worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!
Hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you're worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!

(lyrics inspired by ephesians 2:4-7, and 2 corinthians 5:17)


Just think about Him. How he has worked in your life. How he has changed you, your ways, your all. His love inspires you to be a better person. Reflect his love guys... become a graven Christ-like image. The problems of this world are rooted in the abuse and maltreatment of people. So many nonbelievers have been scarred by people of the church due to their lack of pure love...

"hate the sin not the sinner"... this phrase alone in a prime example of how modern church has transformed Christianity into the love deprived group we are today.. If we hate their decisions, their acts, their lifestyles, how is it possible for us to love them through and through? We still Hate the fact that they choose to sin.. WE sin!.. hating their sins positions us at an elevated height... we are reaching down with love out of pity.. not love out of true sincerity.. Guys... love the sinner for what God created him to be. So many people are hardened at heart.. Their heart is covered in scar tissue, a lot of the times, created by people who claim to be Christian... so many wolves prance in sheep skin! woe to those who call themselves brothers!

Love is God's first and foremost commandment.. if we truly love someone... there will be no constraints on God's ability to use you as the most piercing tool on the shelf. Our purpose is to glorify Him... become more Christlike.. become more perfect... to live life most effectively.. praise God!

~Forever Forward~

I wrote a little sumthin sumthin awhile back.. during a class I believe... it really encourages me when i am down. I read this poem and remember how great true faithfulness is and could be.

use me Lord
treat me with boldness
destroy my selfishness
show me Your Spirit

mold my heart
into a lover of your Word
for I am unworthy
of your unending grace
given to me
by Jesus' unspeakable sacrifice
Abba - allow my choices
to glorify your heart
keep my motivations
focused on The Depart
I fight to decide
who I am going to be
a lover of Your grace
or a reaper of Your Feat
but thats taken care of,
because you live in me
I pray you would lift my chains
when I face adversary
keep my life, my soul, my all
focused on eternity.

"For we do no lose heart, for outwardly we are wasting away, but inwardly we are being renewed day by day, for our light and troublesome worries are building us an eternal glory. So we fix our eyes on not what is seen but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is Eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I haven't done this in awhile... posting that is.

A verse that really has kinda gave me understanding this past week is

John 3:8 "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

This verse really means alot to me. Through the few years that I have served as a Christian, I have run across many people who in all utmost honesty need Jesus. If I were to try and explain to them what wholeness feels like, what a complete life is life, how God takes you and rebirths your soul, it would be way worse than if I was trying to explain to them Einstein's theory of relativity... cuz i have no clue how to describe it... and most likely they don't either. God picks the times and the places...

"No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up on the last day" John 6:44

God calls the unbelievers to see, not what I say or what I do. I am nothing. I am merely a medium used to open the eyes of the blind. If a non-believer doesn't respond to your outreach, don't feel discouraged... his time has not come. Sometimes I try to imagine what it would take for certain people to become Christians... its a scary thing to imagine.. God's works are mysterious and unpredictable, as well as, amazing.

When someone is placed into my life mysteriously or inconveniently I try to make a list of things God is doing through this meeting. How is He using us to enhance both of our loves for Him? This would be considered the "greater purpose" because this is the greatest purpose of mankind. Its destiny, loving our Father to the utmost extent. Every event has purpose within the web of life-- a purpose so advanced that it seems like the wind described.. beautifully unpredictable and refreshing in a sense.

remain ablaze brothers and sisters.
~Forever Forward~

"I'm a prodigal with no way home, I put you on like a ring of gold and run down the aisle" - Derek Webb.

Wow Derek Webb gave such a great concert! I love going to concerts and becoming exposed to the heart behind the music. This is definatly why I am such a fan of Shawn Groves, these guys are awesome christians. To me, amazing lyrics beats hardcore rhythem any day--- yet amazing lyrics and great beats make an unbeated duo :-) Knowing the inspiration of song you are singing gives it so much more meaning.
anyhoo--- i have a severe confession.

I am really struggling with self. I put myself above all things every day, all day. There are so many days that I just don't want to socialize. I bog myself into solitude. I settle for luke warm relationships. When I'm around friends, such as tonight, my words aren't those of a wise man, but instead, they are those of a self-rightous mercenary. I know it too! I feel the conviction so strongly! The words that exit my mouth are harmful and I feel so horrible about it. We are called to serve not as stumbling blocks-- but instead -- those who lift fellow Christians up. We are called to live a life of sacrafice. We need to be crucified inorder to feel and understand The Truth, His Truth, your Messiah's Sacrafice. I live life as a fool would. I live life with so little regards to That which defines me. So many times I turn down the Holy Spirit's Call. I ignore Him in order to remain in broken world.
The truth is, I love, yet I still defile.

I'm pretty excited cuz tommorow i'm joining Rob Adair's Life group!!! I'm gettin plugged into Alder's Gate-- I really feel called to get into the church, and become a part of a network of elder believers.

anyhoo-- Jaehun (eric's international student dude) is a very awesome guy! He's invited eric and myself to let him cook for us and watch movies at his house, How awesome is that man?? This guy is like in his mid 20's hanging out with me! That is so sweet-- he is so interesting.
So yeeeeah... I met another Kanakuk'er today through Katie Thamer-- I'm getting very excited about this summer-- I know God has great plans and I'm battling to prevent it from taking my focus off of the present. He fulfills great plans though me every single day.

ahh well i need some sleep!!! got midterms tommmorow morning.. I would really like to focus on praying for the multitude of trips that are occuring of spring break~ pray for safe travel guys-- ask God to place his hands on the wheel.

(too tired to proof read)
~Forever Forward~

Life is beautiful.
I feel as though I am climbing mountains.
I know I am.

God defines everything I live for. Hes the love of my life. After Passion man I was cryin like a baby, I live for the Lord of Lords. There is nothing I will ever be able to do to understand how much it cost. Only through Christ may I be worthy of such. The farther I continue my walk with Christ, the more vibrant the Holy Spirit works through me. Its so awesome. He calls us to prepare, why?? cuz if we are prepared our hearts are capable of so much more. Becoming familiar with His Word is where it all lies. The relationship begins by asking Him into your heart. Thats only the beginning!!! Endless potential lies in the Word of Christ. For those who are walking devoutly, imagine yourselves 10 years from now!!! Imagine 10 years of knowing him in the most intimate way possible! "How much more the things of this life!".

I have felt really convicted as of late to truly sharpen my ability to share my faith with others. The ability to boldly eliminate any hindrance of transparency.

In order to reach out to fokes, I gotta, in a sense, be the one who pokes his head out of the tent when you hear the black bear rumbling through the camp. I feel as though I need to be the gallant warrior for Christ who, as a friend explained, is " sensitive in spirit". One who listens for what the Holy Spirit is calling him to do. God is the source of all wisdom. God is the source of all strength. He gives me all that I need, the only stipulation is, am I preparing myself to hear it?

pray for my discipline and discipleship!!
you guys are amazing.

~Forever Forward~

I defiantly fell in peters shoes this afternoon. I felt like i fit the role of the man who denied Jesus the third time. I knew I would have its inevitable. I was devastated. I got back to wesley and found a verse that comforted my heart.
John 16:20 "You will weep and morn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy."


How can I ever show enough gratitude? I am nothing. Gibson's Passion revives what i take for granted, God. I take every piece of Him for granted. Our frailty killed Him. We take part in the flogging of Jesus daily. How how can you question whether God loves you? That would be denying Jesus' death. It defined Love. it defined true forgiveness. it defined His liberating powers. Why must I still live a life of such little devotion. How sweet it will be to enter the kingdom not of this world.

"Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life!" 1Cor 6:6

Have you ever prayed at the feet of Jesus? imagine.
Broken to a point that only He would be capable of lifting you to your knees.
I was once asked this question. It touched my heart.

Are my prayers meaningful enough for the lover of my soul?
Is my pursuit focused on the unseen?

Integrity.

What does this word mean to me?

Integrity in a textbook is defined as "The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness. "
When Christ was accepted into my heart, integrity was given a meaningful definition. Having complete integrity outside of a relationship with Christ is impossible! With him at your side, all the sinful things that aren't seen by the world can be eliminated! Having integrity is such an awesome way to truly acknowledge our Lord and Savior, cuz he is omnipresent. --The dude knows everything. If he sees you in solitude saying man God I want to show you Love by straying from sin at all costs knowing that self-righteousness is unattainable. He's gunna get the warm fuzzy, and that is beautiful. I've been battling a verse this week, got a little assistance, but here it is:

1 Cor 5:11-13
11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.
12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."

It is tough man. It is extremely tough to determine who is truly wicked and who is a sinful man. It is tough to distinguish whether the sheep is lost, or whether the sheep is actually a wolf under sheep skin. I was and am still to a certain degree indecisive on how we are capable of "expelling" a fellow child created by Christ. If God's love and powers are so infinite, how can we be so quick to "excommunicate", in a since, a lost soul who claims to be a follower of Christ. How can we as humans judge his heart? How are we capable of establishing why he calls himself a brother. He very well could have felt Christ's knocking, or is just truly enthused about the entire aspect of being a Christian. bleh!! This is why the Word is so intriguing.

Yet I sit here and realize that no matter the situation, God will reveal to you the wolf. He will show you the righteous path to take. Our job is to keep up our end of the bargain and arm ourselves daily. Become fluent with the love letter left behind for us. Etch His face into your heart.

~Forever Forward~

Nothing is impossible, Nothing. God is great.

God has shown the script for my life this year, and so awesome that nothing I can say would be able to express the joy I feel in my heart, its indescribable. God has a script for everyone and it is awesome! Because by playing the role of servant, our jealous God is capable of being loved in the most proficient way.

He wants us, he wants you. Wake up and scream out how beautiful your nap was, and how beautiful your fuzzy skrewed up hair really is. Ask him to show you the plans he has laid out for you. Take advantage of a life encompassed with endless joy through the precious sacrifice of our magnate savior.

I've been lost this semester in contemplation. Where does God want to use me? Where should I serve? I've asked God all semester where he wants me and I got an awesome answer. I first went to After Dark, and I sat by myself. I had no clue what was going to happened except I was gunna rawk out with By the Tree cuz they are off tha chain fo sheezy. It was so tight to hear the white man flow-- that was cool. Anyhoo-- I felt a calling on my heart that night. It started my senior year in high school actually. I feel called to love Christ through mentorship while serving as a rolemodel/spiritual guider/whatever else he wants me to do. He intentionally started my leadership service in high school on purpose, and I believe that. I felt a calling at After ark to become a part of the Kanakuk experience. It wasn't one of those things.. "OO that would be really fun and it would be almost impossible to miss finding God there".. It was more like Man God is telling me to do this. It felt so right. I talked to a leader after After Dark that night and I felt the Holy Spirit stir like a rabid hippo.

God longs for our pursuing. This weekend emotionally opened my heart when I met Jonathan. He was a Coast Guardy from Galveston. We shared our faith all weekend and truly become close friends in Christ. Man God is beautiful. John has struggled all his life, I do mean absolutely struggled. I had nothing to compare to the pain and suffering that God has tested him with. The most beautiful thing was that this guy knew who God truly is in his life. John was able to share the deepest, darkest flaws of himself without hesitation. He truly showed me what it was like to have a Brother in Christ. Parting with John was a hard thing to do, it was as if I knew him for many years. He and I both felt a great connection through Christ. We exchanged phone numbers and are gunna plan a weekend visit to Galveston sometime, that would be truly amazing. Hes the prez-d at Galveston Wesley, and let me tell you, the devil's works in the Galveston area is beyond belief. That is a reach-out mission in itself, ministering to fokes down there.

God has reasons for everything. I recently signed a contract with Kanakuk Kamp this summer. Words cannot describe the joy in my heart. I know God wants me there, that's the beauty. I am certain I am answering the call for my life. Its kinda like coming to AtM-- I prayed about it-- and applied to ATM only-- I wasn't even in the top 10%! Ha! Another example of God's extraordinaries. He sent me here, not my application. I can look back and say wow God has my life planned. He has plans for me to walk through beautiful pastures filled with his extraordinary love and extravagance. He has given me great ambition to love Him in an utmost manner. This weekend was about loving others, and once again WOW. Bang, Pow, Pop! All at once. It totally strengthened my ability to interact with fellow Christians. I can see myself serving at Wesley for years to come, and it is a beautiful foresight. I feel called to be plugged into Wesley, especially after this weekend. Whether it was because I got nominated for just about everything-- not by my fellow AtM students-- but by relationships I had made that weekend. I feel as though I was able to connect, and reach out to other absolute Christians.

Word of God Speak,
Would You pour down like rain,
Washing my eyes to see,
your majesty,
to be still and know,
that you're in this place.
please let me stay and rest,
in your holiness.
-Mercy Me

Make me the Breath of God -Shane and Shane

~Forever Forward~

i've had a great day, yet it has been miserable.
i'm tired... yet i act totally rejuvenated.
i have a test tommorow, and i can't wait to start it.

worship was awesome tonight. God definatly led me to the Wesley foundation for obvious reasons. At the wesley I'm able to become integrated into an enviroment that is very laid back and has multitudes of good times all the time. I do mean ALL THE TIME.

Man date auction was INSANE tonight. Our date had the worst outcome, yet I think it had one of the best. 5 girls get to go rock climbing and eat out at amazon cafe for $10 and $20!! that is insane!! Chris really read the date description wrong, but we were all laughing way too hard and too embarrased to correct him. We had the like most mac-dad date there, yet our attempts to portray a lavish Walton lifestyle automatically stereotyped us as the typical poor, unambitious, half-baked college students we aren't. With this mental block in thier heads, and the fact that Chris mis-pronounced "Thousand foot Krutch" as "Thousand Foot Crotch" , the uneasy bidders were convinced that these guys were barely worth opening bid. Let me tell ya the girls had some very undiscerning looks commin out da cheeks. Oh well, it was Hella funny... i think i nearly died laughing, but hey! i believe this is more of a fellowship project as opposed to fund raiser... why would Max truely want to take the college student's money??? there is greater purpose than to just raise money for things.. cuz wesley has got money. I've been hangin out with wesley fokes more this week than i have this semester. Its really awesome how Wesley truely is a unique christian organization. I can hang out with christian friends and without second thought share whats on my heart. Wow am I blessed or what??? I need to strive to intiate these conversations more often. I believe these convos keep my spirit on fire and allow God to work and build character through each experience. Let me tell you, Zac is a very awesome person. I truely believe his fruit of the spirit is wisdom. If you don't know him, i urge you to reach out to him.

I'm totally excited cuz Kanakuk clicked my digits today! how awesome is that? (they called my house and noone was home-- then when i heard it was past office hours.. so.. yeah. lol) God's plans are His plans whatever the outcome maybe.

Prayer is powerful. Why you may ask? It can change the mind of the creator the universe if used with the right motives... that is amazing.

Stay strong in faith guys. Let his love that overflows within your own heart reach out to others this week.

this is gunna be about the ladies... how trivial is that?

its the infamous Valentines Day. i'm single, but i am no where near ill-spirited. God is molding a wife for me as we speak. She is being hand carved to fit directly beside me in this jigsaw world. Having to wait to meet her can only be a blessing. Instead of agony and lone sadness I can only wonder at how beautiful her soul will truely be. I believe its called patient endurance, 2Corinthians 1:6
If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

How awesome is that? God has everything ready for me, am i preparing? Taking another look at this proclamation makes me think wow, thats what life is all about, patient endurance. dude once we die its all goin down man, its the play you have been training for all your life, the triple threat screen pass with a little touch of salvation. living life on earth only creates great wonder of how beautiful it will be There. Its not like waiting in a dentist's office with the roaring screams and the sounds of a drill press coming from behind the door.

anyhoo awesome

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2corinthians 4:18

i just wanna start off saying wow, God is great.

proclaiming that statement with genuine words is the best medicine availible. I don't got alot to say for some reason, why? i can't say. my life has taken a 180 the past couple of weeks. I cleared distractions that sometimes purged time with the Lord, and I've taken great leaps of faith to define his beauty. He is so amazing. Where is God in my life? Hes right beside me. He walks with me to class, he sleeps with me in class, he studys with me in new and awesome ways each session. I've started meeting with an awesome influential brother of christ on mondays to study and totally expirence god in a private room at the annex. The way god has spoke to me through his abundant dicipline and faithfulness has inspired me to be a better person for christ, not a simplistic "good guy", that term means absolutly nothing. I hunger for rightousness. I hunger for the completion of my heart of God.

I'm so pumped about my life right now as well. School wise-- asi-asi-- its still iffy. I knew my stuff for the 208 test today. I was capable of reciting the chapters and its context to zac the night before. I pretty much gave him an A+ session. I hit the test and the concepts of the book, the homework problems, the EVERYTHING, was written in a foreign language. It didn't matchup with the test... i was like dang whats the dill pickle.

hmm it seems ironic how i didn't have anything to say. I suppose venting is a health issue, so why not keep going right?

Bonding--Friendships--

I've tryed opening up these past few weeks. I think the mexico expirence/crunch time really opened my heart to the unseen. I look back on the footsteps, which record my life with christ, and am totally blown away at what i find. Hes driven my life on nitrous. Just a year after truely excepting big J, his will for me totally quadrupled and it was still H.S.! I was like dang man I'm on this crizzazy jesus high. He was like Ryan I want you to be the guy that fokes can lean on, through scouting, band, generation J, life in general. I made some awesome connections in such a materialistic age of life that will last for eternity. I'm totally thankful for whats been going on to this day. I know God is going to do and has done amazing things through me. I only wish i could serve as his tool with no other desires. I actually like reading diaries of earlier christians, its amazing to expirence thier great spiritual battles and relate with them totally, cuz its the same battle, no matter if they are john wesley or Grace's former preacher Dwight. I look up to Dwight to this day. His great faith of God relieved himself from ministry, not what the world thought. Its amazing to realize that there is no escaping temptation. I could grow up and head to semenary for 10 years... and still be in constant combat with the many temptation of lust, selfishness, and other indulging festivities.

Everything he has done in the past has shaped my heart of the present.

God has been amazing to such an unworthy donee.

Thomas if you read this, we do need that man time, big guy.

I want to know where God is in your life. It may not seem like it sometimes, I am very well defined as an intravert, but that is just a cop-out to avoid boldness. God has his reasons for everything. He didn't think it was my place to be an Impact councilor next year. I, for one, was kinda confused as to why, it seemed like it kinda fit in his pattern of my life, but man it only released relization that there is no pattern, God is an unexplainable, indescribable, omnipotent, unique presence of outlasting love.



"Though we do not lose heart...our light momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" 2corinthians 4:16-17

Though we do not lose heart. Though we do not lose heart, submission, humility, dicipline, anything that describes what brings you closer to God, since these things define what it is to live and learn to know God in a more intimate way, and since

His love is what defines each and everyone's heart. without it you are a "waif, a no man, a ship without a rudder." -forgotten author (lol)

i honestly don't feel like speel checking/grammer/puncuation checking im too durn tired :p

ok so i slide my card to open my Walton dorm door only to find the entire first floor flooded. Three guys were standing there while I was "soaking" in the situation. I decided to ask what happend, and one of the three pointed at the water fountain that was stuck on "high" mode. Then i thought back to the previous events of the day... and was like... whoops i remember hitting the fountain earlier that day cuz it was stuck and made it worse... lol. He told me not to worry blah blah.. and so i asked uhhh who are you? ahh my RA's, thats pleasant to know. So we continued to stand in an inch of water on carpet and another was like.. hmmm "whoa dude its going to be funny when the power goes out, because all the hall's power wiring is right there in water". I was like "uhh well maybe we shouldn't be standing in the water." ( mmm the weed is good isn't it? )...

anyways that is my first Walton hall catastrophe.

I think I had an encouter with food gone bad yesterday cuz i'm pretty durn sick. We bar-B-Q's at bobby "swole" 's house yesterday, I dunno something wasn't right :x, so I've felt horrible all super sunday.

anyhoo

i got up way early and felt really horrible. but i still went to sunday worship at wesley :), it was definatly worth it cuz it hit directly home with me. I am for sure going to find time to open up to max this week, hes very inspiring. Then, since i lasted through wesley service i headed to Living Hope with Nathan, oh boy what a mess-- I ended up mudding to a parkin spot, it was jam packed. As the service progressed i started feeling really crappy again, i couldn't stand without getting dizzy. At one point i thought i was ok and stood up and felt the most lightheaded i have ever felt, like when u vision goes black and ur like crrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap my head. oh well. i survived and thought living hope was very exciting. I still am in pursuit of the fitting church home.

anyhoo its time for me to bask in sleep. I slept from 1pm to 4pm this evening..

Wow school has started! I am back into circulation with a different agenda every single day!!

A tough issue I have encoutered is who i should share my time with. Where should I serve?
Who do I spend time with the most? It is very possible that I've over dedicated my time. Last semester I was all about being "on fire" for God. Each opportunity that I was given to praise and serve him through an organization was pounced on. Now this semester, school has started, WORK will start next week, all of my organizations are having reunion meetings, i joined Men's choir! (for the three weeks that it is going to exist), and I've added to my course load!!!!!!

something has gotta give to allow all of this to fit into my life. God's plan for my life is one of comfort and untouchable by stress. His works within my life will fit exactly into the continuum of my life. There will be no empty spaces, hes planned it all.

"Its not what you know, its who you know", this statement is spread across college campuses world wide.
Who do I Know? Who do I share my God given time with?

1. transparency: So fine in texture that it can be seen through

The best friends in my life are those who keep me informed of thier walk with Christ. I don't have to put on a face and worry about how they analyze the intent of my words. Our hearts are forever bonded by the love of christ, and inturn gives us a very deep understanding of one another. The capacity of the love we share is beyond all bounds. The bonds we share in Christ create the deepest friendship known to God aside to the relationship we have with him. I've created a few of those relationship this semester, and I have found that they are the people who truely are capable of delivering comfort and support when I slip or take a wrong turn on my great expedition.

So i've totally met alot of new cool people this semester and am arranging to meet many more and totally share the love thats overflow'in in my heart, and once more! I will put a special focus on outreach this semester as I meet new faces around me. I met someone in history class today and I knew that Yes there is a reason I am sitting here. I need to share christ, its what I'm called to do so i make convo and take names, preparing to go in for the kill..., then class starts, doh! I failed earlier that morning in the coffee shop. I had the chance to spark conversation but i totally decided not to.. I didn't want to I dont know why! oh well maybe it was God saying YOU IDIOT SAY SOMETHING!! I sat at the table for like 15 minutes without talking at all! I got my coffee and started reading... I was like.. hmm maybe i should say something... but then i was like hmm... i don't wanna bother anyone let me mosey on down to class in 45 minutes... it does take awhile to get from the library to heldenfelds... blah!! A great contingency to fulfill my purpose was once more blown by the intraverted moron!
anyhoo
life is nuts!

so the online journal hasn't been gettin much attention.

My life has taken a few different turns the past few weeks. Priorities changing constantly, infact they are still mostly undefined.

On the way to my Mexico mission trip I bogged myself into Eldredge's Wild at Heart, a very amazing revelation of a man's heart.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" Pslam 37:4

What does my beating heart desire? What exactly does God promise to deliver in return for my humility?

Eldredge states a very amazing reality:

" The problem with men, we are told, is that they don't know how to keep thier promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise their children. But if they will try real hard they can reach the lofty summit of becoming. . . a nice guy. That's what we hold up as models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys... Now let me as my male readers: In all your boyhood dreams growing up, did you ever dream of becoming a Nice Guy? (Ladies, was the Price of your dreams dashing . . . or merely nice?) "

What I desire is something beyond a beautiful christian wife with a beautiful christian home. I desire a life walking on a tight rope every second of the day. Eldredge reveal's his idea of a man's heart's desires as an adventure to live, a battle to fight, and a beauty to rescue. I truely agree that God wants us to live on fire and in danger. His passion for us is overflowing cuz its his love that created us, hes madly in love with us. I can imagine that if I was madly in love with some chick, I would not remain within the "safe" boundaries. I would put my heart on the line, take down it's barriers of defense, and reveal its vulnerabilities. God does that constantly, and believe me, he has had enough heart rippage from me alone. Thats insane.

I was having a "transparency" chat the other night and totally dug an analogy of God's love for us, i swear it made me tear up. The love between the trinity was so great that it overflowed and God created earth in order for us to share his love. The comfort and extense of his love is unexplainable cuz its greater than any measurements availible to the human mind as well as heart.

anyhooo tommorow is my first day of a new semester, a new begining.

ahhhhh my last night at home for the break....... time passes so fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to be saying ahhhhhhhhh my last day of work before i retire in like a week, I can already tell. Then when i'm subject to review before our eternal Father i'm gunna be like AHHHHHHHH my last review for the Kingdom of Eternity.

the world in which we are temporarily inhabiting calls us to "live for the moment", cuz life passes us by REEEEEal quick.

It also can portray christianity as a religious group whose morals and values supress any opportunity to do so. Let me tell ya, it ain't so. Putting God first in your life creates an overflowing abundnace of joy deep within your soul. With Him present within your heart, all worries are obliterated.

Our friends, our relatives, people we have never known before should be able to say, "dang d'er is sumthin different about that dude" because there is something different about christians! The universal creator has saved our lives for eternity. We travel the path less trodded on and by no means is it simplistic. Our life reflects his Love.

" And a main road will go through that once deserted land. It will be named the Highway of Holiness. Evil-hearted people will never travel on it. It will be only for those who walk in God's ways; fools will never walk there. "
Isaiah 35:8

"A man without a purpose is a ship without a rudder - a waif, a no man, a nothing"
- Thomas Carlyle

Just like the ship, I need something to steer my life. I need a light to save the very foundations of my soul when rocky shores emerge. I need an understanding of the great undertaking that grants my forgiveness. I need sacrafice.

But sadly, I remain in paradox. I proclaim what I need and act on the opposite. I stumble and face plant, breaking my glasses (which have been broken on numerous occasions) and just totaly eat the dirt with sorrows beyond belief.

BUT, i must say THERE IS HOPE. THERE is a solution. It tends to be the same one each and every "trip" you could say. (whether u treat that as narcotics or a root it don't matta)

Give him the reigns. Show him your passion. Proclaim his name at the top of your lungs.
James 4:10 " Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. "

God doesn't play dice - Albert Einstein

BE PREPARED! (a little boy scout action going on)

Things do and don't happen for reasons that none of us can phathom.

He calls us to be dressed for action with our lamps lit every day and night of the week. He is going to knock at a time unknown by any one except by the omnipotent universal creator. Knowing this allows time to control our lives.
How so?
Time is the interval seperating a continuum.
As christians we are awaiting our Saviour's arrival. This could be in the next 30 seconds!!! Are you prepared?
We cannot tame time. Preparation must be continuous! not sporadic!

Live each day as a joyous homecoming celebration for baby jesus, wildly on fire! A blaze that no man can control! Wake up to your first glimps of light hoping and praying that it is He who is at the source awaiting with a one-way chariot heading to our eternal resting place.

I can only imagine.

Live life as though He were holding your hand the entire time :)

peace out fokes.

well my reflections on the past few days are kinda weary, definatly a slump due to the fact he keeps getting pushed to the side.

God is Great.
I am not.
I have passion for Him, and yet, I still deceive Him.
Life is depressing without God. Taking the reigns only makes things worse :/
I need him. I thrive on his blessings. I exist on his blessings. Noone said it would be easy leading a life through Christ and its not. Infact, i would say it is much more challenging.

On a brighter note, i am gunna start Wild at Heart tommorow after i open more presents :)

Praise da Lord for Baby Jesus' Birthday!

there is definatly no word to describe humans better than "unique" or maybe a more flavorous "eccentric"

Without taking this into perspective, while meeting the multitudes in a new enviroment, deep feelings are accessible to the least of events! Making new friends, whether it be guy or girl, requires a patience that can sometimes only be found through ordinances of faith. There is always the "annoying" one who is placed in your life for this very reason; a test. Its part of a series of endless tests that build to the great exam at the end of our worldly time, and, my friends, it is cumulative based. Testing is how God gets his kicks out of us. He is a God of greed believe it or not! He wants everyone to love him beyond all bounds. A walk without jumps is boring! He wants us to be capable of fully trusting on him through think and thin. That's faith! Its durn hard to respond to a cripling tradgedy with "Oh God, how great thou Art!". That is an awesome understanding that I am being nudged to grasp as of late.

The unique natures of each and every person serve as a new adventure! sometimes this adventure is fun, othertimes it has short endings, but either way God is still the puppet master with purpose beyond understanding, great ehhh? I "tink soe"

God's Purpose in Your life: to please Him.
God's Greatest Pleasure: being known and loved.

~ Forever Forward ~

So i was drivin around today doing some errands and listening to a burned cd i made this week of a few bands im being introduced to, and this song really stood out.



Hey Wait - Sanctus Real

So confined to the fear that you hold on to
Time unwinds and nothing seems
Promised you

Hey wait, i want to take you for a ride
Hey wait, i want to catch you
While there's time

Who'll pick you up when there's no one
around?
Who'll hold you up when your heart
Hits the ground?

So defined by a love that has fallen through
But hope is kind
When you hope in something
You know is true

Hey wait, i want to take you for a ride
Hey wait, i want to catch you
While there's time

I'll pick you up when there's no one
Around
I'll hold you up when your heart
Hits the ground

You're tired and you can't take
Another time around
You know it's hope i'm holding
So i hope i've found you in this
(i've found you in this)

I'll pick you up when there's no one
Around
I'll hold you up when you heart
Hits the ground

This is why christianity is so awesome. We got DC++++ (direct connection) with our best friend, the lover of our soul. This crazy dude wants us before its too late! Man its so sweet to know that no matter how crappy i am feeling, how torn i am inside, i can spend a little time in contemplation and get picked up to an elevation unreachable to pain and suffering. its sweet surrender. instead of raising the white flag to signal your enemies of thier victory, grab onto the white sheets and get pulled up

"Turn it up and let the people know, I'll never let it go, I'll never let it go!" -TFK
I would also like to thank everyone i know for helping shape the person I am today. I love you guys and pray that my actions may always serve as boosts for your own walk.

~Forever Forward~